2018: A Year in Review

To say 2018 was a crap-tactic year for me would be an understatement.

Let’s recap:

-I got kicked out of my cousin’s home with about a month’s advance notice
-I found a place to live, moved in in late April.....then had to move AGAIN in late May
-I found a new place to live, got settled in and comfortable in my routine......then got fired in mid-August

In between all of this, I’ve had illnesses, no vacation, drained my savings and nearly became homeless.

I say all of that to say this, 2019 will be better to me, because I will be better to myself!
I am tired of putting my faith in others, only to have it repeatedly smashed to smithereens.

2019 will be the year I take NO SHIT from anyone. I deserve good things in life to happen to me, I certainly deserve better than the shit hand I’ve been dealt and I mean to reap all the benefits this life has to offer to me.

Like my favorite Bronx ratchet chick says, knock me down 9 times...but I get up 10!

See you all in January, inshallah.

-T

And the hits just keep on coming

This isn't gonna be one of my longer posts. Just a small update so y'all can see the petty that my life has become.

So....2018 is definitely NOT turning out to be my year.

Not only did I get kicked out and have to move, but I also got fired from my job. Do you know how awful it is to be 1.5 months from vacation and get fired?? I'm so damned tired of life throwing me lemons, but I'm gonna take this time to make some delicious-ass lemonade.

I started contracting with this app-based cleaning company and I'm gonna rock with that until I get a callback from one of the millions of places I've sent my resume to.

Anyway, check back in a week for another update. I'm hoping to have good news for y'all (and myself!).


As always, keep ya head up!

Minor Setback.....For A Major Comeback?

Y'all. Y'ALL!

I got prematurely excited and now I'm gonna have to move.......again.

Let me tell you how we got to this point.

About 3 days or so after I moved in, I went to the local $0.99 store to buy some essentials for my room. You know, a glade plug-in (my roommate makes stinky food) and a closet deoderizer (don't want my clothes smelling like sweat and feet).

This man is gonna tell me it smells like mothballs in the house, so I took down the deoderizers and unplugged my Glade plug-in, opened up BOTH my windows and let the room air all the way out. He comes back a couple days later with the SAME. TIRED. STORY.

At this point, I'm just annoyed as shit at having to have the same conversation over.......and over.......and over.......and, you get the point. So I let him know there's absolutely nothing else that I could possibly do to and he immediately hits me with the "We should look for new roommates and I'm gonna have to move out" line.

Now, what he fails to realize is I could force him to take me to housing court and it would mean not only would I not be leaving at the end of this month, I wouldn't pay rent for a few months and he'd have to spend money to get me out. However, as I told him, now I just don't feel comfortable living here. He's entirely too nit-picky. And by that, I mean he wants to have 2 separate households in one. Who needs 2 separate rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom? Who needs 2 separate bottles of dish soap in the kitchen? Who needs 2 hand towels in the kitchen AND bathroom? I'm looking at him like "dude, just LIVE BY YOURSELF!!!!!"

So, I'm once again back on the room prowl and stressed out about it. June 1st, don't sneak up on me. I've also learned a valuable lesson about having people sign CONTRACTS. The next place I move into will be the last for quite some time. This moving shit is tiring.

As always, until next time......until the next post, keep your head up and keep swimming.

I've Got A New Attitude

April 24, 2018: Moving Day

To be honest, I packed up and moved all of my stuff the day before, but the 24th was the day I really settled in and started making the space my own. Went to the store to pick up a few household necessities and now this place is starting to look like I live here :)

Now, you're probably wondering what made me take this step (and what a HUGE step it is!) and I'll tell you: I was forced. March 9th I was given a "get out" date with absolutely no warning and had to make due with what I had. Thank goodness I'm a planner and had been saving to move by November of this year anyway, so I had a decent little nest egg put off to the side for moving expenses, but what I did not anticipate was the stress that came with finding a suitable place in enough time!

I went traveling from borough to borough, neighborhood to neighborhood, in hopes of finding a place to call home by May 1, 2018. Either the places were too expensive (seems like there are very few rooms available for <$900/month that include utilities), had too many roommates (4 people using 1 bathroom and they're not related? No thanks), or were too far from my job to commute each day (1.5-2 hrs on a train? Eww).

Just when I was giving up all hope, I found the perfect place: less than 1 hr to work, $800/month, including utilities, one roommate, and in a neighborhood not too far from what I was used to. Fate! It must have been. And with 2 weeks to spare! So I made the decision to take it. I scheduled an Uber, packed my belongings tetris-style into the car, and away I went! It's been a whirlwind 24 hrs, but I'm optimistic about how things are going to turn out.

For now, I'll just say "until next time, until the next post....keep your head high and keep swimming".

-TNew Attitude - Ms. Patti LaBelle

Express Yourself

I'll admit it....sometimes I'm an angry person.

Okay, let me clarify, I have angry outbursts...but, in my defense, I believe that each event is warranted and only as a last resort (fine, second resort).

But one of the things that I pride myself on in my life is being honest about my feelings toward a person or situation. If I'm happy, I express happiness. If I'm sad, I express sadness. If I'm hangry (you know, hungry and angry), I express my hangriness. If I'm angry, I express my anger. What I don't do, or at least try NOT to do, is be passive aggressive. For those of you who were unaware:

Passive aggressive (n): denoting or pertaining to a personality type or behavior marked by the expression of negative emotions in passive, indirect ways, as through manipulation or noncooperation.

So, knowing this about me, you're probably asking "Why are you talking about passive aggressiveness?" Well, I have been on the receiving end of some passive aggressive actions and behaviors recently, and it has left the worst of tastes in my mouth. One would think that adults, who know that life comes with stressors and situations we cannot always control and definitely do not always like, would find better ways of expressing themselves and their feelings.

That is, unfortunately, not the case. It's even worse when it's family or a person you depend on for housing, food, clothing, etc. whom acts in a passive aggressive manor towards you. And you are stuck being unable to say anything to address the situation because, as I previously mentioned, you are dependent on them for certain basic necessities. People take advantage of situations like the one described above. They take measures to make you feel isolated, left out, walking on egg shells, and like you're not wanted around.

Distance yourself from people like this. Run, don't walk, away from situations that make you fully or even partially dependent on another person for anything in life. Make contingency plans, Plans B-Z, take an alternate route and get yourself out of that toxic situation. Make sure, at the end of the day, that you're only dependent on YOU. Allow no one to hold things over your head.

Trust me, it leads to far fewer headaches.